Well it's been over three weeks since my last post and I apologize for the delay. When I started this blog I made a promise to myself and my readers that I would stay positive and not use my blog for pity parties and sympathy. And the last 3 weeks have been a struggle.
When I'm on FaceBook, Twitter and Instagram I see all these really cool inspirational posts...
When I'm on FaceBook, Twitter and Instagram I see all these really cool inspirational posts...
The last one and ones like it, made me start thinking. The world is full of negative people who may doubt my ability to be a good fitness instructor, lose weight or have any successes in life. These may be people that I know or complete strangers. If they are people I know, they are keeping their thoughts to themselves. The people that I know support my efforts. I have awesome friends that are there for me to bounce ideas off of and vent to. I have a great family that that would do almost anything to help me to succeed in life. But I do have one hater that is very present in my life and she wreaks havoc on a daily basis. That hater is me. I am my own worst enemy. In less than a minute I can take a day from awesome to awful. I criticize myself harder than those others do. I know that I am not the only one that does this. I have an amazing friend that can run circles around most people and swims like a fish, but she will say that she is only an average runner and drowns instead of swims. I've often wondered to myself why such an amazing athlete is so negative about her abilities and it's because she is her own worst enemy. We all are in way. We live in society where it's frowned upon to praise yourself. You are branded as cocky and taught to be modest. But what is really wrong with saying that you are good at something? Nothing! There are of course ways to say it that won't make people detest your presence but we really should become more comfortable with praising ourselves and excepting praise from others.
So the last 3 weeks I have been fighting with myself. I have been sabotaging all my efforts due to lack of confidence and self worth. I was self medicating with chocolate, junk food and alcohol. Everyday I would wake up and say, "Today is a good day! I will eat healthy. I will resist temptation. I am a good person, and I deserve to love myself and treat myself with respect." But at some point I would find myself saying I don't deserve anything. I called it self medicating before but subconsciously it was death by food. Dark, I know, but it's the truth. I was not in a good, healthy frame of mind. I was choosing foods that would instantly make me feel better, and part of me also knew the effects that they would have on my health.When I ordered a cheese burger I wasn't thinking, "This thing is going to wreak havoc on my blood pressure and cholesterol, not to mention pack on the pounds." I was however thinking "Cheese burger! Mmmmm!"
My dark periods come and go. Sometimes they last longer than others. Heck I think all of 2014 was dark period for me. But it's the sunshine days that break through the dark periods that help keep me going. I finally broke out of that darkness and I'm seeing the light. I know I had a back slide when it comes to my goals for my reunion, but I'm ready to get back on track and start again, I'm not gonna let that negative voice in my head convince me that chocolate is better than an apple or that I'll feel better if I eat all the nachos. Delicious as they are, they are just not worth it, and won't do anything to help me reach my goals.
I did my best to keep what was a very hard topic as light as possible and as much as I want to use Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" as the song I am choosing to go in a happier direction. So without further ado, I present you with The Brady Bunch's "It's a Sunshine Day!" Ya gotta love the happen threads and get down to Bobby's groovy break!
So the last 3 weeks I have been fighting with myself. I have been sabotaging all my efforts due to lack of confidence and self worth. I was self medicating with chocolate, junk food and alcohol. Everyday I would wake up and say, "Today is a good day! I will eat healthy. I will resist temptation. I am a good person, and I deserve to love myself and treat myself with respect." But at some point I would find myself saying I don't deserve anything. I called it self medicating before but subconsciously it was death by food. Dark, I know, but it's the truth. I was not in a good, healthy frame of mind. I was choosing foods that would instantly make me feel better, and part of me also knew the effects that they would have on my health.When I ordered a cheese burger I wasn't thinking, "This thing is going to wreak havoc on my blood pressure and cholesterol, not to mention pack on the pounds." I was however thinking "Cheese burger! Mmmmm!"
My dark periods come and go. Sometimes they last longer than others. Heck I think all of 2014 was dark period for me. But it's the sunshine days that break through the dark periods that help keep me going. I finally broke out of that darkness and I'm seeing the light. I know I had a back slide when it comes to my goals for my reunion, but I'm ready to get back on track and start again, I'm not gonna let that negative voice in my head convince me that chocolate is better than an apple or that I'll feel better if I eat all the nachos. Delicious as they are, they are just not worth it, and won't do anything to help me reach my goals.
I did my best to keep what was a very hard topic as light as possible and as much as I want to use Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" as the song I am choosing to go in a happier direction. So without further ado, I present you with The Brady Bunch's "It's a Sunshine Day!" Ya gotta love the happen threads and get down to Bobby's groovy break!